View Full Version : Pregnant aged 11
An 11 year old school girl pregnant, i was horrified to read this. Even more so by her idiotic mothers reaction she is delighted and proud of her wee girl,there are many feelings a parent would have if their 11 year old daughter was pregnant and it sure is'nt PROUD. [evil]
Shock, angry, ashamed and distraught would be the normal reaction, i feel disgusted her mother is "beaming with pride".They don't seem to think there is anything wrong in becoming pregnant at such a horrifyingly young age.
She is far too young physically and mentally to cope with the responsibility of having a baby.
Last week some of you gave your views on the pregnant 63 year old, how do you feel about the latest to hit the headlines?.
Alice in Blunderland
14-May-06, 10:00
My first thoughts are from one extreme to another! God forbid any of my children would fall pregnant at such an imature age I would be horrified not proud.I wonder if this mother has ever sat down and had a conversation with her daughter about the facts of life, then again maybe she will blame it on the schools and the lack of sex education as a lot of people seem to do.As part of being a responsible parent I think we have to educate our children to the best we can in these areas and then hope they have taken on board all that we have said . My goodness the nappy marks must still be visible on this girls own backside......maybe the mother of this child is looking foorward to four hourly feeds and teething and everything else that comes along with the new baby as I am sure she is going to have to help out in a major way.....or maybe that too will be left to the state...?
I my self think that is a disgrace that this could of happened. At the age of 11 she is still a child herself and the boyfriend is only 15 and i hear he is getting charged. So how can the mother be happy. I blame the parents.
pultneytooner
14-May-06, 10:17
It's a disgrace right enough but I don't think blaming lack of sex education applies in this day and age.
The kid should be put into care and the mother should be locked up preferably in a secure mental hospital.
I feel a rant coming on! What I find incredible is that this girl got preganant on a "drunken one night stand"! How the hell can a parent allow a child to get drunk at that age obviously she's unsupervised.Parents should be done for neglect.My cousin goes to a school in Inverness and out of his year (6th),of 170 pupils,11 are pregnant and 3 are having their second child!
I can only imagine how I would feel if my 11 year old daughter was pregnant, but if she was, I would need to do everything possible to protect her from the finger pointing an event like this will create.
We live in a world where most of us are protected from some of the shocking stories we see and read about every day of our lives. However, not everybody is as fortunate. Some 11 year old children will have been sexually abused by their fathers or mothers or uncles or neighbours long before they reach the age of puberty. The nature of such human activity means that this type of thing could be happening next door to any of us.
Shock and horror is an automatic reaction to such events, but I wonder how much we as individuals could do to help change it?
I think it was sassylass who posted something on caithness.org many years ago about how we could all be doing more to look out for other peoples children as well as our own. Making contact with children is not easy, particularly if they have difficulty making contact in the home. I know this from personal experience, both as a child and as a father.
I have discovered though, that kids are crying out for authentic contact with people who wont judge them, but its not easy for us as adults not to make judgements about kids pretty quick. That's a problem, because children always have their antenna out, looking for signs of both rejection and support from the outside world.
I've told my 12 year old daughter how most young boys think and thats all I can do but theres something odd about the sexual encounters of young boys and young girls that has always intrigued me. Young boys are often treated with a certain regard about the number of conquests they will boast about, but young girls are seen as something shameful if they succumb to what is after all quite natural.
I'm not sure what the answer is to some of the stuff happening amongst the younger generation but what I am sure about is, most of the solution probably lies within me.
dragonfly
14-May-06, 10:36
I can't believe that her mother claims to be proud of the fact that her child is drinking, smoking, and having underage sex. It's parenting like this, that condones stupid behaviour, and will result in a society of dysfunctional adults.[evil]
willowbankbear
14-May-06, 10:46
Its a shame for the wee girl to be in this condition, shes only a wee girl herself & for her to be having a baby is absolutely tragic. Its not the end of the world, but I still think its such a shame
pultneytooner
14-May-06, 10:49
I can't believe that her mother claims to be proud of the fact that her child is drinking, smoking, and having underage sex. It's parenting like this, that condones stupid behaviour, and will result in a society of dysfunctional adults.[evil]
A society of dysfuntional adults whos only pleasure in life is getting drunk watching big brother or pop idol and not giving a damn what their kids are doing.
connieb19
14-May-06, 11:18
It saddens me to think what kind of upbringing this girl has had. An 11 year old child, having a drunken night out with friends, surely indicates there is something far wrong at home. Imo this lack of care and guidance amounts to child abuse. Why is this girl still in the care of parents, who let her smoke, drink and have sex?
The mother is proud of her child, but she should be ashamed of herself for allowing this to happen and I think she is the wrong person to be bringing up this new baby.[mad]
A society of dysfuntional adults whos only pleasure in life is getting drunk watching big brother or pop idol and not giving a damn what their kids are doing.
To true you are spot on what your are saying.
It saddens me to think what kind of upbringing this girl has had. An 11 year old child, having a drunken night out with friends, surely indicates there is something far wrong at home. Imo this lack of care and guidance amounts to child abuse. Why is this girl still in the care of parents, who let her smoke, drink and have sex?
The mother is proud of her child, but she should be ashamed of herself for allowing this to happen and I think she is the wrong person to be bringing up this new baby.[mad]
The mother and father are split up this girl is the oldest of 6, she also smokes 20 roll ups a day,who pays for that.
The mother and father are split up this girl is the oldest of 6, she also smokes 20 roll ups a day,who pays for that.
we the working people pay for it lol, just like we have to pay for ever other layabout [disgust]
i have gone and read the article before i wrote on this one..
for obvious reasons i am horrified..
in the article it says that she began smoking at 9 and drinking at 10
and now is smoking 20 fags a day.
and in her 8 mnth of preg. the mother has been quoted on saying that she is proud of her for going thru with the preg. and not having it terminated as the social worker adviced.
i do not personally belive in abortion.. and as long as the poor babe is healthy.. let it be born.. but i do not think that either this child or its mother should be left to care for the baby..
as neither of them seem to be fit.
on another note the worlds known youngest mother gave birt at 5 years and 8 mnths.
you can look the details up on wickpedia her name is Lina Medina
but as the details show a nude pic of her at 7 1/2 mnths preg. did not want to risk posting the link
i remember a case from when i was youger of a 9 year old who had been repeatedly raped by an uncle having a baby.
we the working people pay for it lol, just like we have to pay for ever other layabout [disgust]
Why do you think it is funny that the working people pay for it :mad: , how can an 11year old child be classed as a layabout.
i remember a case from when i was youger of a 9 year old who had been repeatedly raped by an uncle having a baby.
This must be a worlds first a man having a baby[lol]
Why do you think it is funny that the working people pay for it :mad: , how can an 11year old child be classed as a layabout.
i didnt say the 11 year old, i was talking about the parents,as for the quote about layabouts i was stating a fact that there are plenty of them about
This must be a worlds first a man having a baby[lol]
glad you find that amusing, its obvious to sensible people what brandy was reffering to [disgust]
glad you find that amusing, its obvious to sensible people what brandy was reffering to [disgust]
Sunday morning grump! go watch some Laurel and Hardy:Razz
Sunday morning grump! go watch some Laurel and Hardy:Razz
why dont you go and grow up or find the kids forum where you would be better suited
why dont you go and grow up or find the kids forum where you would be better suited
Is there one then Sam,which one do you go on?:cool:
Is there one then Sam,which one do you go on?:cool:
you would know more about that than me lol
oh great, another discussion gone into personal attacks
great way to get this thread closed
melted_wellie
14-May-06, 14:17
oh great, another discussion gone into personal attacks
great way to get this thread closedkeep it up chillie.....lol
Don't know how anyone can find this a story to joke about so shall we move on? There was a report the other day of a 9 year old boy being charged with rape. What are we doing to our children? They shouldn't even be thinking about this at their age but sadly they get sex pushed at them from every angle. I agree the mother of the pregnant girl is obviously incapable of looking after her but imagine her reaction is just defiance as anything else reflects on her parenting ability, or lack of it.
What kind of future does the baby have? Either taken into care or left with an uncaring grandmother and probably very little support from social services. Just thinking about this family situation is enough to give you nightmares.
What kind of future does the baby have? Either taken into care or left with an uncaring grandmother and probably very little support from social services. Just thinking about this family situation is enough to give you nightmares.
I couldn't agree more badger. If the baby is left amongst people with that mentality in another 12 or so years we will be reading about the 23 year old grand-mother for heavens sake.
For once, I suspect that I am of the same mind as 99.9% of you about what has happened.
connieb19
14-May-06, 19:53
This is a first. A thread where every-one agrees!!:)
Billy Boy
14-May-06, 20:17
this may sound hard,i think the only chance the baby has got is to be taken in to care as soon as it's born and adopted to a loveing family and given the upbring he or she deserve's,how can a 12 year old bairn look after a baby.
her mother will be of no help either as she has already proved that she is incapable of looking after a child:(
connieb19
14-May-06, 20:19
I'd like to know where an 11 year old gets the money to smoke 20 a day?[disgust]
Billy Boy
14-May-06, 20:22
I'd like to know where an 11 year old gets the money to smoke 20 a day?[disgust]
if the money's not comeing from the mother,i dread to think where it's comeing from.:confused
I'd like to know where an 11 year old gets the money to smoke 20 a day?[disgust]
Exactly connie, who was funding her smoking and drinking? She should still be playing chase in the playground and playing with dolls. Her mother knew exactly what she was up to and could of prevented this horrible situation.
A picture in the sun showed this girl puffing away alongside her mother, i'm sickened at this, pregnant at 11! i just can't get my head around it at all.[evil]
Apparently, whilst she and her mother were being interviewed by a member of the Press she smoked three roll-ups.
She's not having to do the normal kids thing of having to sneak off for a "crafty one". (Roll-ups that is)
I am well aware that some people believe that children should be treated as little adults but I don’t suppose for one minute that many of them have that sort of behaviour in mind.
Like most 11 year olds she has only a sketchy grasp of complicated realities, she has no idea of just how much hard work good childcare demands. she portrays herself as a caring mum to be, but puffs away on a roll-up which is threatening the life of her unborn child.she believes she will cope with motherhood because she has helped look after her baby brother, being a babysitter and a mum are two completely different things.
parents can't control their children 24/7 but you wonder how much attention this wee girl was given, her mother was obviously distracted by her other siblings and allowed her to roam around puffing and drinking away.
Children these days have far too much money and too much freedom. You only have to listen to what some parents give their children not weekly but daily to see where they get the money for junk food, drink and smoking. When I was at school we were not allowed out of the school grounds at lunch break - we ate school dinner and that was that, so no chance of spending money even if we had any.
They know far too much about sex too young, long before they're able to deal with it and yes, this child (for that's what she is) should be playing with dolls not a baby. I had to wait until my 11th birthday to be given a lovely china doll that had belonged to my mother and even then she worried I was too young for it but I was thrilled. How many 11-year olds these days would even thank you for a doll? They'd more likely think you were mad to suggest it.
pultneytooner
15-May-06, 13:19
Children these days have far too much money and too much freedom. You only have to listen to what some parents give their children not weekly but daily to see where they get the money for junk food, drink and smoking. When I was at school we were not allowed out of the school grounds at lunch break - we ate school dinner and that was that, so no chance of spending money even if we had any.
They know far too much about sex too young, long before they're able to deal with it and yes, this child (for that's what she is) should be playing with dolls not a baby. I had to wait until my 11th birthday to be given a lovely china doll that had belonged to my mother and even then she worried I was too young for it but I was thrilled. How many 11-year olds these days would even thank you for a doll? They'd more likely think you were mad to suggest it.
Quite right badger, let's get children back to being children, they are giving them sex education at primary school, as if they haven't enough time to be children let's get them ready to be mums at 11 y/o and rapists at 9y/o.[mad]
Every day, television pushes the limits of what is acceptable viewing before the so-called 'watershed', do kids really need to see all this at an impressionable age.
Can we even trust our government to solve this problem with our kids when they lowered the age of homosexual consent to 16, an age where kids are most probably still immature mentaly?
The police should also get the guy responsible and he should be charged with rape and paedophilia.
She said, 'she consented', well if the police do nothing about it then paedophiles everywhere will be rubbing their hands in glee.
I had a friend when i was at school who had an abortion at 13 and a baby at sixteen and was well known for sleeping with every boy she went out with. She was expelled from one school at the age of 14 for getting drunk and passing out in the toilets and came to my secondary school. She smoked from being 12. I already knew her from Guides - she was in my Guide troop and was a friend of my best friend. She wasnt a stupid girl - bright, athletic and in the "A" stream for most of her subjects. She was funny and clever and sad and lonely. She had an appallingly fractured home life and no self esteem and no feeling that she was loved in any way by her parents. She went on to marry and have two further children to her first husband then divorced and had two further children to her second husband. When she was pregnant with her third child at the age of 21 i asked her what on earth she was having all these children for - she replied " its the only thing i'm any good at - sex and having babies". I remember that without exception every boyfriend she ahd was "the one" - she loved them and they loved her and it was going to be forever - of course it never was. She craved love and affection and took whatever sort of affection she could get with predictable consequences. I was incredibly fond of her - she was kind and giving and always had time for you. She was a good mother in many ways although cleanliness wasnt one of them as she was the first to admit.
why am i telling you this? well the girl in the news has been painted as some sort of wicked person but she is a child just as my friend was a child. Are her parents to blame? well you have to ask yourself do they know any better? As hte years go on we have a group of children that have no role models - how do you be a good dad when you dont have a dad to show you how? how do you be a good mum when you never had a mum around in the first place. IN years gone by where mum or dad was missing or lacking there were loads of aunties and uncles and grandparents to fill the place and in many families lots of love around. That isnt the way it is now - we are isolated in our nuclear families and where there is a need people often turn their faces away and think that it isnt their business. I have no idea what the solution is but to villify this girl and her mother isnt it.
Pultneytooner, I think you will find that the putative father is being dealt with by the authorities. He is a 15 year old boy and there has been no indication that he is a predatory paedophile intent one de-flowering young virgins.
The situation definitely needs dealing with, but soothing our distaste for the situation by use of the full majesty of the law isn't necessarily the best course of action.
Squidge, I can't speak for others, but what I find disturbing is not so much what has happened but more the rather lax attitude which appears to have been displayed, at least in public, by the girl's mother.
I don't know if the media are twisting her words and apparent attitude to inflame public attitudes but, if not, her giving the impression that her daughter has in some way behaved in a mature way is what gives me most concern.
Personally I hope that the Media lose interest in the matter and that the whole thing is not turned into a circus for our entertainment. Those involved are going to have enough problems without certain parts of the press engaging in siege warfare.
Perhaps it's time that we, as a society, took a serious look at the realities of how young people behave. Yes there have to be some limits laid down to prevent abuses, but returning, as we currently seem to be, to the Victorian attitude of the sweet, innocent and angelic virgin pursued by the nasty, abusive male sexual monster is as outdated as using small boys to sweep chimneys because they are small enough to climb into them.
Yes this is an extreme example, but for the sake of a few months difference in the ages of either of them the whole matter would have been treated as a minor problem in need of a little guidance.
We carefully avert our gaze so as not to be confronted by reality and when we cannot do that we are shocked at the reality we see and dismiss it as some abnormality.
I am very certain indeed that there are lots of young lads and lasses out there heaving a sigh of relief that it is not them who have been caught in the spotlight for behaving in exactly the same way.
We like to think this sort of behaviour is a product of modern society. It is not.
My mother once mentioned that the amount of teenage pregnancies in the 1950s was disgraceful. My grandmother, who was born around 1870 looked at her and said, "My dear girl, it used to happen in my day. It was covered up by layers and layers of skirts and the girl would be sent to visit relatives in the country!"
And still we insist on believing it is something new which, if we ignore reality, will return back to normal and go away.
We like to think this sort of behaviour is a product of modern society. It is not.
My mother once mentioned that the amount of teenage pregnancies in the 1950s was disgraceful. My grandmother, who was born around 1870 looked at her and said, "My dear girl, it used to happen in my day. It was covered up by layers and layers of skirts and the girl would be sent to visit relatives in the country!"
And still we insist on believing it is something new which, if we ignore reality, will return back to normal and go away.
Of course you're right, Jaws, there is nothing new under the sun and there are still many places where young girls are either married or promised at a very young age. However that doesn't make it right and I suppose you can split the population between those who sigh for the good old days and those who believe we are supposed to be more civilised now. Neither is true but I do believe children are subjected to a barrage of sex these days which is comparatively new. I would not for anything go back to a time when teenage pregnancy was such a disgrace that girls were forced to give up their babies, kill themselves/their babies, have back street abortions etc. but we seem to have swung to the other extreme where teenagers dare not admit to being virgin and the younger you "do it" the greater your kudos.
In this country at least it was once a disgrace for a child to lose virginity; now it seems almost a disgrace not to. Something has gone wrong.
As far as i can see the girl said
"I was upset and so was my mum, especially as she'd just had my wee brother. We had a big argument and I ended up locking myself in my room and running away to a friend's.
It was really hard but it's brought me and my mum closer, which is good. I knew my mum would stand by me no matter what, but I told her straight away I was going to keep the baby. The social worker suggested I got rid of it but I'd never do that."
Looks like maybe the mum wasnt as proud as all that to start with but she now says
"I'm not ashamed of my daughter at all - in fact, I'm proud of her for keeping the baby.
"I know she's worried what other people will say but she can walk out there with her head held high. "At first I wasn't too happy about becoming a gran. But now I'm used to the idea. I'm really looking forward to having another baby in the house."
what else would you expect a mother to say? "I think my daughter is a little slut and i cant stand the sight of her and i'm throwing her out to sleep in the streets or be put into foster care or a childrens unit" Whats done is done and a brave face has to be put on it. They will do what everyone else does and manage. Many parents struggle with the behaviour of their offspring and maybe we should make it less of a stigma to get help with this.
Someone commented about sex education leading to sexual behaviour - i dont beleive this to be true. My boy is 11 and just doing "SE" as they call it - they are discussinig puberty in a factual and informative manner. Knowledge is important and understanding the ramifications of a sexual relationship should be discussed over and over again if you ask me. Children need to be told to be careful and they need to know that sex makes babies and does it very well and often catches far more mature and responsible people out so they had better be careful.
pultneytooner
15-May-06, 18:25
Pultneytooner, I think you will find that the putative father is being dealt with by the authorities. He is a 15 year old boy and there has been no indication that he is a predatory paedophile intent one de-flowering young virgins. How young does a girl have to be before he would be classed as a paedophile, predatory or not and being 15 would not be a redeeming factor for him in my eyes?
Just where would we draw the line?
How young does a girl have to be before he would be classed as a paedophile, predatory or not and being 15 would not be a redeeming factor for him in my eyes?
Just where would we draw the line?
How about a nine year old paedophile? Or maybe a couple of five year olds playing Doctors and Nurses?
What would happen if a young lass said she did it for a packet of cigs? Should she be dealt with as a prostitute?
Under your definition of a paedophile virtually every youth would be on the sex offenders register by the age of 17 for immature fumblings. Of course, young ladies would never engage in such activities would they, so they can remain pure as the driven snow and wear a white wedding dress to display their purity. ;)
What about an 11 year old boy and a 15 year old girl? Not such an outlandish idea in view of recent reports. Would he go on a sex offenders register? Should he be branded a paedophile for the rest of his life?
As I said, it's time society stopped being so emotive over the subject and started looking at the reality. That way we might end up doing something about the dirty shades of grey and stop pretending all is black and white.
By doing that then possibly we might make some progress towards getting some solutions rather than just shaking our heads and tut tutting.
I don't know what the answers are but I do know we should not just ignore the problems in the hope they will go away themselves.
pultneytooner
15-May-06, 19:09
Of course you are right, jaws, having a daughter just turned 12 and thinking about this happening to my own, I lost it with this thread.
highlander
15-May-06, 19:37
I am not a prude but when you go into some of the retail shops and see the skimmpy little out-fits for small children, i mean does a five year old have to wear thongs? Retailers and the parents themselves have to ask themselves, are they trying to make them out little adults? then the child thinks of herself grown up, and acts so, but in the end they cant handle it. I hate to think that the little girl in question feels she is old enough to take care of a child, when she in no more a child herself.
do they have thongs for 5 year olds. thats yukky. glad i have boys and deal wi boxers.
Of course you are right, jaws, having a daughter just turned 12 and thinking about this happening to my own, I lost it with this thread.
Don't worry, I would probably be the same. It's an emotive subject and I can sometimes (only sometimes?) put things in a slightly extreme way to get people thinking. Sometimes it backfires and that I understand.
I have thought that for too long it is a subject which is treated with shock and horror and with a great display of surprise and then quietly buried again in the hope we won't have to face up to it.
I don't suggest for one minute that we should just accept an "anything goes" attitude as acceptable but I do think it is something which deserves serious consideration as to where lines are drawn and to which of the present ones may or may not need adapting.
I would think we are all aware that a particular age is often not a fixed marker of maturity. One fourteen year old can be more like an eleven or twelve year old and another like a fifteen or sixteen year old and expecting the same behaviour off both is not going to work.
It will take better minds than mine to arrive at sensible solutions but I can set the questions, as I suspect most of us can.
I am not a prude but when you go into some of the retail shops and see the skimmpy little out-fits for small children, i mean does a five year old have to wear thongs? Retailers and the parents themselves have to ask themselves, are they trying to make them out little adults? then the child thinks of herself grown up, and acts so, but in the end they cant handle it. I hate to think that the little girl in question feels she is old enough to take care of a child, when she in no more a child herself.
I totally agree Highlander about the skimmpy out-fits for small children. Thongs that is awful, who on earth would buy these for a small child.
Children in today's society are pushed to grow up too fast.
I totally agree Highlander about the skimmpy out-fits for small children. Thongs that is awful, who on earth would buy these for a small child.
Children in today's society are pushed to grow up too fast.
The slippery slope started many years ago when it became all the rage to dress toddlers in the latest designer clothes, like some fashion accessory, as soon as they could stand up unaided.
I suspect some of the stuff was out of fashion and the next lot in before the kids had a chance to outgrow them. The parents just had to have the new stuff with all the right labels to show off to all and sundry.
The stores soon realised that some parents would do anything to show how trendy they were so they added the miniature adult underwear and accessories for the "Designer Gullibles" to buy.
The parents really are to blame for that one, it the stuff didn't disappear like hot cakes it would soon stop appearing on the shelves.
And, you can't blame either the kids or the stores for that one, I don't know many infants who buy their own underwear. [disgust]
The Pepsi Challenge
16-May-06, 02:07
May I take this opportunity to remind everyone that the youngest grandmother in the UK came from Wick. Her age? 28.
May I take this opportunity to remind everyone that the youngest grandmother in the UK came from Wick. Her age? 28.
It was nae me! ;)
Whitewater
16-May-06, 09:15
May I take this opportunity to remind everyone that the youngest grandmother in the UK came from Wick. Her age? 28.
Yes that is true Pepsi. you would have thought the grandmother would have learned the lesson and passed it on to her daughter. I really don't understand the mentality of people who think that being a mother is their sole purpose in life. Young girls who want 'live' dolls that wet napppies etc. If they are thinking along these lines, why not get the real thing, it not a problem, and be so much more fun, and when you are young I bet they think that is just the thing, to be just like mum, looking after a baby.
I think in cases such as this the parents have not been able to teach values or at least values that matter to their children, but perhaps that is being unfair. There is so much 'peer' pressure with children now that I don't think 'we' the older generation, have any idea what they are going through when they are out of our sight. Bets, dares, bullying if you don't want to join in. It must, in some cases be terrible for many children who know better, but want to be accepted and become one of the gang.
Children also mature younger now, so it is only natural they want to take advantage of that maturity. That is the time when parents should be at their most observant, and offering all sorts of help and guidance and hope that some of it gets through. But no matter how good a parent you are, accidents will happen, any intelligent, adventurous child will always wonder about things, what it feels like, what does it do to me etc. etc. All we can do when they are out of our sight is hope that we taught them right, and even then it doesn't always work.
I don't think I would like to growing up in todays world, with all the advertising trying to turn all the children into little adults, it is just brain washing, they begin to think they are little adults and don't even like being called children any more.
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